musings from a mom

Marci had another great question regarding baby items…basically, “What do I really need?!” It is so overwhelming to walk into Target, pick up your registry gun, walk to the baby section and…then what? Click everything?! There are baby guides, but, still, do you REALLY need all that…stuff?!

As I was preparing to write this post, a blog I frequent, Mommin’ It Up, addressed this exact subject and asked people to respond with their items. I thought about going through and giving my opinion on EVERYthing people commented on, but that could take awhile. Instead, I went to Target’s website and downloaded their Baby Registry Checklist…

Keep in mind, these are merely MY opinions – What one person loves, another may hate, and what one hates another loves.

First some thoughts as I perused the Checklist:

First up….Baby’s Room

- They say a mattress pad and waterproof crib pads – I must be missing something because I’ve used those terms interchangeably to mean waterproof sheets — get the waterproof ones

- Crib bedding set is NOT a must have…Let’s see, our bumper pad things came off at about 6 weeks with Keaton and we never put them on for Benjamin…the quilt hung in K’s room for a couple months (when I finally remembered to hang it up…) and then we moved…it’s still in the box…from 2 moves ago…and it also came with a fitted sheet…$200 for that waste…awesome. Get some sheets you like and get fun stuff to accessorize…

- Dresser/Amoire/Changing Table – our original plan was to use a dresser AS a changing table – long story short, I painted it and it came out the wrong color and was too tired to do anything about it…so we gave it away on Craigslist. We ended up buying a changing table and using a bookcase (with baskets on it) as a “dresser”. If we had to re-do it – I’d try again to get the right color on the dresser – anytime you can save space AND money and make something multipurpose (that you can use past diapering years) is a plus in my book.

- To me, hangers were a waste of money..we never hang anything in closets in the boys room…I’ll be passing them off on people come a consignment sale in a few weeks, lol. Almost 3 years and we’ve never used them ha!

- Nursing pillow – not a necessity (I’ll argue with anyone who says otherwise)

- I would definitely say a glider (if nothing else a COMFORTABLE chair to nurse in) is definitely essential!

NEXT, Clothing -

- Only thing I can say here…Do NOT buy ANYTHING til after showers…you will get so much clothing you won’t know what to do with. AFTER baby comes, use end of season clearance sales to stock up on bigger sizes.

NEXT, Gear -

- Diaper bag is not a “must have” – you can easily use a cute tote you like or a back pack, a big purse, whatever you like..

- I also wouldn’t say a swing is a “must have”, but it is for us, lol

NEXT, Toys -

- Again, I wouldn’t buy anything til after showers as people will give you so much of this too (for some reason, no matter what is on your registry, people can’t resist clothing and toys….guilty. lol)

NEXT, Baby Care -

- Pacifiers are not a must have (this depends on if you plan on using them…and don’t buy a ton of one brand because baby may have a different idea of what they like!)

- Nursing pads – definitely a must have, but don’t register for tons of one brand – I went through every brand before settling on the “cheap” ones – turns out they were my favorite!

- Infant bathtub – not a necessity

- Baby towels – not a necessity – big people towels work JUST as well

- Re: Diaper Pails – If you’re going to get one, I highly recommend a Diaper CHAMP – not the genie. Who wants to keep shelling out money for “special” bags?!

- “Protective mittens” – use socks Unless that’s really redneck… lol

- A bottle warmer – a cup with warm water in it works really well too

SO, with all that being said, the things from each section that I would absolutely, with out a doubt register for:

For Baby’s Room – A Crib (of some sort – you figure out what sleeping arrangements work for you, your family and your space – whether that’s co-sleeping, a crib in a separate room that will convert to a toddler/full size bed, a pack & play in the corner of your room, whatever…), sheets (that fit what you’re registering for), waterproof pads, Chair of some sort, place for dirty clothes

Baby Wear – Nothing.* Unless there is something you absolutely cannot live without – then I’d just buy it myself

Baby Gear – Car seat, Stroller*, Sling (not the structured kind like Snugli), Pack & play*, Swing* and high chair (or booster seat)*

Baby Toys – Nothing.*

Baby Care – Bottles, pump, Burp Cloths (the gerber “diapers” work great), storage bags for pumped milk

*These items, I would definitely consider looking for at consignment/yard sales, as well as FreeCycle or Craigslist – people are ALWAYS getting rid of baby things! And for next to nothing!

Marci – I hope this helps a bit in the overwhelming world of baby stuff!

One of the questions my friend asked was about baby names and how to come up with them.

We never looked at the baby books (though, this time, I’ve resorted to babynames.com to come up with a girl name, just in case, because I don’t like any we have picked out!)

With Keaton, his first name is the same as his daddy’s. The name Keaton, I saw it in a Stampin’ Up catalog. It was on a birth announcement and on the announcement was this sweet baby, sound asleep…if only…anywho, I digress

With Benjamin, Zach was really pushing for Cai, which is B’s middle name. I liked Cai enough to use it but not enough for a first name (he found Cai in a book…unfortunately, it’s Greek for “And”…and we’re in Seminary…where everyone takes Greek…Yeh, we still haven’t heard the end of “and” yet, lol)

This time, we have a wonderful boy name (not that our others aren’t wonderful, I’m just super excited about it!) but no girl name. (And we’re not sharing, so don’t even ask, lol)

Since both the boys’ names end with “N”, that’s almost become a “must have” for names…I just love the finality (?) to their names with the “N” sound. We also realized we cannot have another child whose names start with B or K, since most of our conversations take place via text msg, we type “K is…” or “B did this…” – it’ll get confusing after a bit.

Syllables are HUGE for me. (Yes, you may call me a nerd, I’m fine with that, lol) The name as to flow. Zachary Keaton sounds perfect…Keaton Zachary…doesn’t work for me. Seriously. Say it out loud and you’ll see what I mean…..I’ll wait…..am I right?! It just works.

I know some friends who only use bible names, or earthy sounding names, or all their childrens’ names start with the same letter…

So with that being said, feel free to share how you came up with names for your kiddos!

(And feel free to also share some girl names, lol!)

I have a friend who has just entered her second trimester with her first baby. She has asked a couple questions re: baby things and she knows I’m always looking for fodder for my blog, and so we agreed that I would post the answers as blog posts (note: they’re pretty much just my opinion, lol, you can talk to ten other people and get 10 other answers!)

There is one question that she asked me and I answered her via email, but said I would throw it out there to any other readers for some answers (they will ALL be open for other readers’ to answer of course, but I’m hoping someone else can give her some more info!)

Here was her question:

We want to breastfeed, but don’t know how long we’ll be able to do so because of my job. I am guaranteed 6-8 weeks…but beyond that, I would have to pump at work. Is it practical to do so? There is a fridge at work that I could store the milk in. But it’s an hour to get home, plus however long it takes to get baby from wherever s/he is staying. I mean, how fast does this stuff spoil? I certainly wouldn’t want to make baby ill.

I directed her to my absolute favorite breastfeeding site, kellymom.com and specifically to the sections on pumping/working/handling pumped milk. I did pump with both the boys, but it went straight to bottle or to freezer. Can any one else chime in here? Thanks!

My friend has NO idea I’m about to “spotlight” her! But, I’ve been meaning to for a very.long.time. And something this morning made me think of her and I knew today was THE day.

For starters, I for real know this sweet person. Not just a fun, bloggy friendship (although, with crazy schedules and family life, we talk more on our blogs than in real life, lol)

My friend Carrie is a seamstress extraordinaire. I kid you not. Every time she posts her lastest creation, I just gasp …

Take a look…

And she gives amazing instructions on how to do just what she does! (I mean, I guess they work…I’m not daring enough to try, lol)

She helped me make our mei tai carrier that both our boys love

(Mother’s Day Weekend before Benjamin was born)

So anywho, I just had to show her off because she’s awesome

Oh, and the book that made me think of her, Sew What, Skirts! SUCH a fun book…I can’t wait to get started on some of the projects in there!

One of my “goals” for 2010 is to have a paperless kitchen (ie: no napkins/paper towels). It’s made my stomach turn for sometime at how many rolls of paper towels we go through (I won’t even tell you a time frame!)

So — cloth napkins, lots of dish towels and rags here we come…and of course, I want to make them myself — so pass along any ideas!

If you follow our family blog, you may have heard the news, if not…

::Drumroll Please::

We are expecting our 3rd little one!

We are so excited, we just can’t keep our mouths shut about it

I mentioned a couple things on our family blog and I’ll summarize here:

I’m about 5 weeks along, sick, tired, hormonal (stay out of my way, I may cry, scream or eat you, lol)

We will not be finding out the gender of this baby nor will we be sharing names — call us mean (just watch out, I may cry, scream or eat you…lol)

The plan/goal/desire is for another all-natural VBAC with the midwives I saw with B.

I’m showing already (or I just never stopped looking preggers after the last two)…mention it…I may cry or scream… But yeh, I think I wore my jeans for the last time yesterday and my favorite corduroys, well, I never got to say goodbye…they were gone before the two lines showed up on the test. Good thing I love my maternity clothes (ok, they’re more stylish than my regular clothes, lol)

So that’s the latest here!

I’ve started a book blog, not of what I’m reading, but my boys. It’s nothing earth shattering (lol), I honestly wanted to do it so I could keep track of what we’ve already read …then I decided to throw in what they liked and didn’t like. So come on over and share your favorite kids’ books!

**side note – I have NO idea why there are smilies in odd places…I will try to fix this, lol!**

I had a reader ask me to blog about doula and birthy things. Since I could talk all week long about that, she asked specifically:

I’d like to know about how to find a doula in my area. How do I know if they are properly trained/certified? How do I know if I want to even have one?…Are there any books that you would say I just can’t live without reading?

Of course, I was way too excited to talk about this! I have previously shared my personal reasons for having a doula, I’ll try to make this more informational and not as personal (but as a doula in training, that’s a bit hard, ha!)

So, without further adieu!

First, you may be asking, what the heck is a doula (doo-lah) A doula is simply a woman that you hire to assist you throughout your labor. She will NOT take the place of your birth parter/coach, and she is not hired to perform medical tasks. She is there for support, encouragement and a “clear mind” (to remind you of your desires and goals throughout labor and birth).

Now, on to the readers’ questions -

1 – How do I find a doula in my area? There are many doula organizations (DONA, toLabor (formerly known as ALACE), Childbirth International to name a few) and other sites that offer services to find doulas (here, here and here — just a sampling–). Other options for finding doulas include asking friends, your healthcare provider, the instructor of the childbirth prep class (if you choose to take one). You can also call the hospital or birth center and ask if they have a volunteer doula program (note that you will not meet the doula until you arrive in labor — many doulas in training serve in these programs to reach their certification hours)

2 – How do I know if they are properly trained/certified? Ask. Once a doula is certified, she will receive documentation to show as proof of completion of requirements per her organization. Typically, the requirements consist of reading a handful of books, writing 1-3 papers, attending births (either a set amount of hours or births) and/or an exam. However, don’t allow certification to be your only deciding factor. Take into consideration how your and her personalities mesh, her communication skills, and how she connects with your birth partner(s). Ask her about previous births she has attended – how she has handled stressful situations, ask for recommendations from other families (just keep asking!) ((A side note: A doula may have completed the requirements but may not have kept her certification active (ie: paid each year to allow ‘doula’ to follow her name) Some doula organizations require this payment each year – while  it may not be feasible for her to pay each year to keep her certification active, she may still be the best doula for you!))

3 – How do I know if I even want one? If you’re having a hospital birth and desiring a natural birth – I would say it’s almost essential to have a doula present at your birth. You may have a team of OB’s on board for your natural birth, but the on-call OB might only check on you a handful of time before baby arrives — it’s the nurse that will be assisting you. Many nurses have never experienced a drug/intervention free birth and are unsure as to how to handle a mom laboring naturally. Even if you are not desiring a natural birth, I think that it’s still crucial (speaking from past experience!) to have someone who has the clear head, can help you process decisions you are faced with throughout your labor, assist you with nursing your baby and keeping your baby near you after it is born. Some other things to consider: Your birth partner(s) – how will they handle you in labor (so many dads get so nervous when their wife is in the throws of labor and they just want relief for them), what if you have an extremely long labor and dad needs to step out and get something to eat, you want something to eat/drink, a doula will stay with you until baby is born (I hear so many doulas “joke” that they rely on caffeine for births – they’ll be there wide awake, might need a potty break, but they’ll be awake!) Your partner(s) schedules, communication skills, “recallability” (of all the info they learned in books/classes/your hormonal ramblings…) Only you can decide if it’s right for you to have a doula at your birth

4 – Are there any books that…I just can’t live without reading? My first choice, if you read NOTHING else, I would say Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. Phenomenal. Amazing. Incredible. Book. (Warning: It’s hippie. It’s about birth. Lots of naked women. Birthing. There’s the disclaimer).   While I was looking up the amazon link, I saw that Ina May has a breastfeeding book as well (obviously, I’ve not read it, but if it’s even CLOSE to as amazing as her birth book, I’d say read it!) Some other books I love:

• Pam England’s Birthing From Within
• Henci Goer’s Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth
• Janet Balaskas’ Active Birth
• Ricki Lake’s Your Best Birth (yes that Ricki Lake!)

• My husband read Dr. Robert Bradley’s husband Coached Childbirth before our 2nd son was born ((Zach care to share your thoughts?!))

So those would be my top reads!

I hope that answered your questions, Reader If you have any other questions, you can contact me the way you did and I will do a follow up post, or if any one else has questions! I would be MORE than happy to answer them!

Each month, Emi at The Cloth Diaper Report has a Diaper Tips link-up. Click here to see past Diaper Tips and check out her blog for more link-ups!

Week 1: Share your Thanksgiving travel stories and upcoming holiday travel plans. Cloth, hybrids (i.e. Grobaby or gdiapers) or ’sposies?

We didn’t travel over Thanksgiving, but will be at Christmas and we’ll be using cloth just like any other trip we’ve taken. We only have about a 3 hour drive home to the inlaws and they allow us to use their washer to wash our diapers there if needed (depending on how many days we go, we sometimes don’t even need to wash, but it makes unpacking at home much easier!

Week 2: Do you use cloth wipes? If so, what are your favorite brands and fabrics and what do you still want to try?

We do! This was the hardest switch for us to make and once we finally did, ::face smack:: SO much easier! We have a handful of wipes, but my favorite are the Kissaluvs wipes. My least favorite are the Thirsties wipes – something about that velour just doesn’t mix with poo, ha! I have a handful of homemade flannel wipes and those really do the job with super messy changes!

Week 3: What is your favorite Cloth Wipes solution and/or recipe?

We just use water in a spray bottle and spray the wipes. I tried a couple recipes and some Baby Bits, but just plain water is much easier!

Week 4: Mama Cloth Stories: Share why do you, don’t, or can’t decide if you want to be a PT or FT Mama Cloth user?

I don’t…no real reason why, though I think it’s next on the list. I mean, why NOT?! I think it would be great for post-partum times especially.

We made this switch in our cloth diapering journey about a year ago (We tried it when we were first starting with cloth but it didn’t go over so well – I think I was a smidge overwhelmed!) But after taking the plunge, I was so glad that we did! It just makes sense, if you’re already washing the diapers, why not wash the wipes too!

During the second half of December, Emi from The Cloth Diaper Report (yes, Diaper Tips Tuesday, Emi!) will be focusing on Cloth Wipes (12/14-12/22) and Mama Cloth (12/23-12/30). So hop over and join in the fun!